Happy 2013 y'all! I know it has been a while since my last entry (seems like I start each entry with this apology)...There is a lot to read in this one to get to the point of this story but I feel like it is necessary to relive the events prior to today in order for you readers to understand why this irritated me more than it normally would.
I can't lie,the past month has been pretty dang exciting! I celebrated my 30th birthday with a surprise party thrown by my girl, Reagan....then my gypsies gave me ANOTHER surprise party at work! I am one lucky gal! Mid December, I left all good behavior behind, packed up my bags with boots, teasing combs, hairspray, and 100 pounds of jewelry and headed to Vegas with Reagan and Cheyenne for my first NFR experience! We had a blast! Then......it all went downhill once I got back home......
The day after I got back from Vegas, I started to feel a cold coming on....figures. I never go anywhere and the first thing that happens when I travel is I get sick. So at first I think it's nothing major and decide that I can just tough it out. Well, fast forward 24 hours and I have a 102 temperature. I go to the doctor and he says, "The only thing you can have with that high of a fever is pneumonia, or the flu....and your lungs sound fine. 4 out of the 5 people I have seen this week with the flu, had the flu shot (I had mine is September)...sorry....I'll send you out a script for Tamiflu." Fine. I continue to cough so hard, I am constantly peeing my pants...or even better, I throw up. Pretty sexy, huh?!?! I had gone to the doctor on a Friday, felt horrible through the weekend, Monday was Christmas Eve, Tuesday was Christmas Day...being sick during the holidays is no bueno. I missed Christmas at my Nanny's with all the grand kids and great grand kids on my mom's side of the family, missed Christmas Eve church service, and Christmas Eve with the Woodcock's....I was not happy....I had so much crap in my lungs that my daughter is telling me that I was "snoring awake". No honey......that's my lungs....rattling....so Wednesday I roll into the doctor with no voice and bags under my eyes from no sleep.....I tell doctor dude to dope me up so much that I sleep for a week....(I'm really hoping my doc is Conrad Murray at this point...) I need something to stop the coughing or I will lose my friggin' mind. You know what this "doctor" tells me? "Well, the reason you are coughing is because there is crap in your lungs and it needs to come out. If you stop the coughing, then it can't come out and then you'll REALLY have pneumonia. But for now, here is enough steroids to choke and elephant....but let's send you for a chest xray since I can't really hear your lungs over all the wheezing." Oh, lovely.... It took everything in my being (which wasn't much at this point) to not jump on top of this guy and choke him out until he agreed to write me a script for whatever the hell I wanted. Whatev......I come home, take 5 Prednisones, a puff of Advair, a few hits of Albuterol, some prescription cough syrup from last year, AND Nyquil....I ask Woody, "If I take both cough syrup and Nyquil, will I stop breathing?" He says, "Uh, I don't think so...." He is the paramedic in the family so it's a good enough answer for me! Better chase this with some bourbon just to make sure....bottoms up.
Then next day, the inevitable happens....I cough so hard, I separate a rib....or break it....one or the other...or at least it feels that way. Holy frijoles, y'all! I want to scream I am so fed up with coughing but it hurts too bad to take a deep enough breath in to scream. I deal with it...cough some more....cry....oh...nope....scratch the crying....you have to breath to do that too. Guess I'll just pee my pants some more. Finally on some day last week (the days just kind of merge together....probably from the Nyquil and bourbon) I feel like I'm on the upswing....and then I get a tummy bug. Again, I would scream but it hurts too bad to do that. I'm going to warn y'all....this next part is graphic. Do you know how much it sucks to be sitting on the toilet, throwing up into a bucket, AND coughing with a separated rib? Oh, and now I have strained some muscle in my abdomen....Where is Conrad Murray? Put. me. down. Oh....but if that isn't enough, the next day is New Year's Eve......but wait! Do you know what happens on New Year's Eve?????? Aunt Flo comes to visit........................no words......no. friggin. words. WHAT ELSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! My body is going to shut down....I'm pretty sure of it.
So today, New Year's Day, surprisingly I wake up....and feeling pretty damn good at that. Yeah, I'm sore.....my rib, my abs, my uterus, my chest, my throat...P.S. if there is anyway to herniate your throat, I'm pretty sure I did it.......but other than that, I'm feeling like a champ. I guess when you are on your death bed for 2 weeks, a mediocre day makes you feel like you are ready to run a marathon. My mom invited us out to the house for lunch so we went and enjoyed some amazing seafood gumbo and promptly came home for some much needed naps. I woke up and decided that we were going out to eat for dinner. I was sooooooo tired of being stuck in the house in PJ's, no makeup, and my hair in a pony. So I fixed my hair, painted my face and loaded myself up with some jewelry. We went to BJ's, had a great meal, and then I decided that I wanted to run by Nordstrom Rack to look for some new flats. I mean, I have had quite a bit of Christmas cash in my wallet that was now starting to burn a hole through it....I needed to spend it.....now. We drove by and they were closed....boo. I told Woody to drive around the corner to Ulta because I needed hairspray......closed. I then decided that there was something that I absolutely needed from Target....I didn't know what, but would figure out just what it was when I we got there.... I should of known not to step into Target when I saw the parking lot filled with Mexico license plates.
Now, let me just say that I am not racist or prejudice. It is a dreaded time in South Texas when the Mexican Nationals head north and shop.....everyone thinks it, just not many say it. Usually they venture to San Antonio during Holy Week (Easter), before school, and Christmas. I have heard many people say that the way they act here, is how they act in their country. But may I just say.......that doesn't make their behavior and actions okay here. I get so friggin' irritated by their use of walkie-talkies....why can't they just call each other? And why do they have to talk SO LOUD?!?!?!?!?! I have actually had some go through MY BASKET before! As we were walking down the sidewalk to walk into Target, 3 people just step right in front of us and we had to stop so they could continue on with their fabulous selves. "I'm sorry...this is your world right? We are just occupying space in it!" I couldn't bite my tongue. My first venture out of the house and this is one of my first encounters with the human race? I don't think so....Woody should of turned me around, loaded me back up into the car and taken me home then.....he should know me better by now. Then there is the complete disregard for their surroundings.....when we went into Target, there were clothes on the floor....the shoe section looked like a tornado had come through and whatever they didn't want, the threw on the floor and kicked it around. Every section of the store was in complete disarray. And on top of that, they just walk around like they own the place.....they will block the entire aisle so there is no way for you to get around. And if you say "excuse me", they ignore you. If you are walking across the street, they will damn near run you over. I found a pair of turquoise suede "Ugg" style boots on clearance and was going to buy them........but after 15 minutes of dealing with these yahoo's, I couldn't stand to be in the same store as them anymore. I was so mad! I couldn't witness another disrespectful person throwing another thing on the ground or I was going to lose it! After 2 weeks of being in bed, all I want to do it go to Target and make a large unnecessary purchase.....but no. I have to go off-roading in my basket through a mountain of hangers on the floor just to get to the fat section. I literally had to tell Peyton to "hang on" while she was sitting in the back of the basket because I was afraid it was going to tip over! Finally, we just walked out. But then I started thinking.....if Target is this bad, I can only imagine what my darling discount retail stores look like.....I've seen it before....don't even THINK about shopping at TJ Maxx, Marshall's, or Ross for the next month because they wipe those stores out clean. It will take them at least a month to restock......but I guess that is kind of a good thing. All the CRAP that they have had and unable to get rid of, is gone....let the new goods flow in y'all!
There is another positive to this situation. All of the Spanish that was heard by my 4 year old princess has inspired her to speak Spanish...she was making up words that were "spanish" on our way home and she would tell us what they meant. I guess this secret language will be beneficial the next time (if there is a next time) we decide to venture out the next time San Antonio is swarming with nationals....my 4 year old can tell them to get the hell out our way and to stay out of our basket in her secret language. As I said before, I am in no way racist or prejudice. I have many friends and acquaintances that were born and raised in Mexico themselves. All of which also have an issue with the way that these disrespectful people act. I am well aware that we have citizens in this very country that severely lack social skills, respect, and tact. I am not saying that ALL nationals are rude and disrespectful, but it is hard to look past the majority that are.
Until next time,
You're only as strong as the hold of your hairspray, the coffee you drink, and the friends you keep.
