Parenting is NOT a competition....

There are so many people out there that are more than willing to always give you advice. I love those people that know everything about everything...they always have the best doctors, the best hair stylist, the best church....or they are the best mothers...those are the worst. The ones that have advice about how to handle behavior, potty training, education....they may be great parents, and their children may respond well to their parenting. But guess what....every child is different! And if every kid was the same, there WOULD be a manual on how to raise kids! I got crap from parents when they found out that Peyton was still in her crib at 2 1/2. She never tried to climb out, she wasn't unhappy there, and wouldn't you keep your kid caged for as long as you could too? Okay, caged is kind of harsh...you know what I mean. The same parents looked down their noses at me when she wasn't potty trained at 2. Does that mean I didn't try? No....she just wasn't interested. Why would I frustrate her and myself by forcing her to do something she wasn't ready for? Then there's the car seat....this shocked me.  We bought a booster seat for Peyton that had a harness seat belt that was rated for kids up to 60 lbs. Most others were only up to 40 lbs. I had a parent tell me, "Why isn't she using the regular seat belt yet? Do you know how much time that would save you and how much easier that would be instead of buckling her in the harness?"
 I recently saw a blog that several friend's on facebook (that are also mom's) had posted that talked about the influence that Pinterest has on moms. Moms are now feeling inadequate because they believe that the typical mom should have time to do the following:
-Cook a homemade breakfast consisting of clown face pancakes and "lincoln log" houses made from breakfast sausage.
-Have their kids dressed in matching ensembles, that are ironed, free of stains, and have coordinating bows and accessories.
-Line out the days activities like making color bubbles, homemade mosaic crayons, and flashcards made from recycled cardboard and magazine clippings.
-Carve rose shaped hand soap for the guest bathroom.
-Document their child's day and photograph every moment with their $2000 camera that they learned to use by reading tutorials about exposure, aperture, depth...blah, blah, blah.
-Do all the laundry and categorize by size, color, material, brand, and season.
-Label the spice cabinet
-Label the pantry
-Label the laundry room
-Label the kids.....wait, do they need labeling? Eh...what's the hurt?!
-Make a 4 course, nutritionally sound lunch...but always allowing the kids to be creative and let them paint with food like peanut butter.
-Lay your child(ren) down for their 1.75 hour nap and allow yourself some time to run 5 miles on your treadmill, do 30 minutes of yoga, and "allow" yourself to meditate.
-Wake your "perfectly behaved child" up, re-iron their outfits, and head off to the neighborhood playground for a play date with the other perfectly coiffed neighborhood kids...
-Oh, and don't forget! It's your day to take snacks...so grab some organic grapes, homemade goldfish crackers, divide them in a ziplock bag with a clothespin down the middle and decorate it like a butterfly. Or you could always make a quick batch of fat free/sugar free/gluten free/egg free/ lactose free cupcakes...whatever is easier. Break out your juicer and throw in some organic carrots, organic beets, organic celery, organic blueberries, organic kale, organic strawberries and juice away...
-Make it home just in time to pull a casserole out of the freezer that you premade last week, and pop it in the oven.
-Feed your family, and talk about the day including everyone's feelings, thoughts, worries, and discuss how to handle each situation. (I do feel like sit down family meals are important, but with casual conversation, not a counseling session.)
-Bathe your child(ren) in with the homemade chemical free body wash. (seems easy, right)
-Get them ready for bed, assist your 2 year old in reading the first 50 pages of War & Peace. The sing "Twinkle, twinkle, little star" in French, Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, oh, and in English.
-Go make love to your husband with what you learned in the recent article you read titled, "500 ways to turn your man on" followed by a 2 hour back and foot massage.

So, raise your hand if this is how your day goes....if you have raised your hand, it's time you stop reading now because I'm pretty sure I am about to offend you.

WHO IN THE HELL DOES THIS?!?!?! Half the time, Peyton and I spend all day in PJ's! When we go somewhere, do I make her look presentable? Of course! But when we are at home, we pretty much bum it. Do I feed my child nutritious food? Yes. Do I allow her to have a popsicle every now and then? Sure.  Do I try my best to educate my child? Yes. Do I allow her to sit in front of the TV and watch cartoons? (gasp!) Yes...but she doesn't sit in front of the tube all day. But come on...what gives? Half the time......no, make that 90% of the time, these are the parents that have their children potty trained by the time they are 9 months old....yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. Their children can speak 6 languages but freak out at the sight of another child trying to play with them. The moms that brag about only gaining 8 pounds when they were pregnant but give birth to a 5 pound baby with multiple health issues. The moms that make it seem that everything is perfect on the outside, but they are dieing on the inside. Because they don't allow themselves some alone time, or time with her girlfriends. Where is the fun? I think we forget that LIFE EXPERIENCES are just that....life.....experiences.
Now back to my experiences....When I got crap for Peyton not being potty trained at 2, when she was ready to be potty trained, she was in panties and accident free in 3 days....yep! 3 days...so even though you THINK your kid was potty trained at 9 months, you were really just training yourself to take them to the potty every 15 minutes...I bet that broke into your soap carving time.  When Peyton was ready to get into a big girl bed, she stayed there. So when your kid was "napping" for 1.75 hours, how many times did they get out of their bed and come crying to you that they weren't tired? I bet that cut into you treadmill/yoga/meditation time.  And if I want to keep my child in a harness seat belt til she is 60 lbs, I'll "waste my time" keeping her as safe as I can while you spend such valuable time labeling your spices, pantry, and kids. Now before I lose some friends, I would like to say that I don't think if your child is not in harness like Peyton, he/she is not safe. I'm just saying that my personal choice was to purchase a car seat that had this feature because it made ME feel better. I feel better that my daughter is in a harness...but let's all remember that the most important part is that your child is restrained in the car that is appropriate for their height, age, and weight. Do my parenting choices make me the best parent by some standards? Nope! I make mistakes...every parent does. But does Peyton think that I am the best Mommy this side of the Pecos? I sure hope so!
I know this blog is pretty broad but I do have a few valid points.
1. Parent your child the way you think is best for them but with fun and experiences in mind.
2. Parenting is not a competition. Every kid develops at a different rate. Some speak before others, some walk before others, some have developed fine motor skills before others. Nothing is wrong with your kid...they are just all different!
3. Don't offer your opinion unless it is wanted. If someone asks you, then give it to them. Don't push your child's school on someone else. Don't push your pediatrician on someone else....if they decide not to take your suggestion, it doesn't mean that they are wrong. It just means that they believe they found a better fit for their family and their child.
4. It's okay to have a messy house. It's okay to have dishes in the sink. It's okay to have clothes on the floor.... get dirty with your kid....get in the sand box, play with sidewalk chalk, catch butterflies, bake cookies and let them decorate them...one of the best things of being a kid is that there is no RIGHT way to do things.
5. I guarantee that your kid won't remember that you had a spotless house, and that they had carved soap. What they will remember is you...how much you love them, how you make them feel, and the things you do WITH them, not FOR them.

If I could afford all organic/chemical free products, I would definitely purchase them. I have a steam mop, I buy the "green" products when I can, and I do my best when it comes to food...we make sure that she has fresh fruits and veggies. But if we do indulge in fast food, or boxed dinners every now and then, I don't see any hurt in that.  You do what you can...right?  Bottom line is.....Everyone needs to chill out with the parenting competition and stop living up to what is "socially acceptable".  Love the Lord, love your kids, love your family, make memories, and be happy....everything else is just...well....carved soap.

Until next time, You are only as strong as the hold of your hairspray, the coffee you drink, and the friends you keep!